You can die tonight, I don't care
by TheKats
Summary: "I said I don't give a damn. As far as I'm concerned you can die today, I don't care!" – He walks into the elevator and she doesn't even stay there to give him at least one last look.
1. Chapter 1

"I don't want to see you ever again, do you understand me? You are not who I thought you were." – She is hissing, while Dan stands in front of her, holding his bag ready to leave, after she saw the video on the cotillion.

"Just…"  
"Do not try to explain to me. I don't care. You are and you have always been Humphrey who I hated. Who I hate! All those gestures of love and…now it's clear to me. It was all to hurt Serena, wasn't it? Don't answer!"- She cuts him, putting her palm between them. – "I swear I will forever regret those hideous, pathetic weeks I spent with you, I'm so glad that this happened" – He looks at her incredulously and doesn't even try to say anything. – "You will never be good enough Brooklyn, and I'm quite amused how you never got that thing by now?" – He is swallowing his words and looks down when she cuts him deep with her last sentence. – "For a tiny moment I thought…that…that you are different…Thank you for opening my eyes. He might be everything, but he is not the scumbag who fucked my best friend." – She points with her hand to the elevator and he starts walking.

"I never…not for one moment…I said…" – She pushes his shoulder even harder when he tries to explain to her.

"I said I don't give a damn. As far as I'm concerned you can die today, I don't care!" – He walks into the elevator and she doesn't even stay there to give him at least one last look.

In his young life, Dan Humphrey felt many heartbreaks. First when his mother didn't come back to Brooklyn. Then Serena dumping him and coming back to him and dating other guys in front of him…But this was far worse than any of them. Much worse when in the beginning of the summer Blair left without words, much worse when he was hopelessly stuck in the friend zone. Her words are making him feel so heavy and he swears he can feel his heart in his throat. The door closes and he isn't sure how long he stands there before he lifts his heavy arm and presses a button. Her words are even louder now in his head and it all seems like a dream. How to explain to Blair Waldorf that what he did was a product of his anger and jealousy and alcohol and poor decision and thinking with his lower head. As the elevator goes down, he sinks lower and lower and if in that moment somebody actually shoots him he will be completely all right with that.

He gets out of the building, walking slowly, not realizing what is happening around him. The streets are crowded, nervous drivers are honking, cars are driving fast and sirens are so loud, but Dan simply walks slowly holding his bag in one hand, passing through people like e ghost. He doesn't remember when he stopped at the bus stop, but when an older lady shakes his arm he comes back to himself.

"Are you all right son?" – She asks with motherly voice. – "You are very pale. Son?" – He looks at her, listens to her, but doesn't really get what she says. Finally he nods and and walks away from the bus stop, listening to some man mumbling something that he is probably just another junkie.

…..

"Boo hoo, Blair finally dumped you! Who cares, I want that article to be done asap!" – Georgina is yelling from Milo's bedroom, while he sits on the sofa staring in nothing. – "Are you listening to me?" – She yells again. He can hear her murmuring something to the child, forcing him to fall asleep. In other situation he'd go and help her with the kid, but now he…he is dead.

When Georgina lightly punches his shoulder he looks at her.

"Oh damn, are you actually crying? Seriously Humphrey?" – He didn't even notice the tears, but when he wipes his face with his hand it really is wet. – "I always knew you were a pussy, but this is beyond me." – She puts a glass and a bottle of Whiskey in front of him. – "Here! Finish this, mourn the bitch, throw up and from tomorrow I want you to finish what we started this summer!" – She gets out of the living room and he remains alone. The last thing he needs is alcohol, but maybe Georgina Sparks is right for the first time in her life.

…..

She is completely aware that she over reacted and that everything she said to him was just a pure result of her anger and jealousy. Yes, Chuck is all she wants at the moment and she'd sell her soul to be with him again, yet…She knows perfectly well that Dan wasn't a mistake. And he was good enough. Maybe better than anyone…The only problem was, he wasn't Chuck. She decides that she won't let herself think about the incident, and when Chuck calls her, she feels saved from her own thoughts. He tells her that he'd come over in about an hour. Nervously she walks back and forth in the penthouse, not knowing what to wear, even though she is already wearing a nice dress and shoes. She decides to order dinner, and within twenty minutes a caterer is serving it in the dining room and she is lighting candles. Finally, Chuck shows up. His face says more than his mouth can ever will.

"I hope this isn't too much" – Blair says coyly, hoping that he'll like what she did.

"Actually, it is" – He mumbles and his eyebrows narrow a bit. – "I'm not here to eat, I just wanted to tell you..." – He breaths in. – "Why on earth are you even ordering dinner and these candles…I didn't say I'll come over to stay…"

"Well, I thought…" – She stutters.

"Maybe you should stop thinking and accept the situation. We can not be together right now Blair!" – He cuts her.

"And when we'll be?" – She asks angrily.

"I told you already!" – He says with irritated voice. – "Stop being a child Blair, what I'm doing now requires my full attention. Being with you or anyone else would just distract me, and…"

"Anyone…" – She mumbles for herself – "And how long does this mission of yours will last Chuck?" – He looks at her as if she is mentally ill.

"I don't know. A month or two. A year…Or maybe as long as my father is alive" – He says calmly.

"So that means…that…"

"I'm gonna go now! I wanted to see how you were after the incident with that video of Serena and Humphrey, but I can see it doesn't affect you, since you aren't able to think of anything else but sabotage me!" – He walks to the elevator and leaves the penthouse without further talk. She stays alone and awfully aware that Dan was right about everything he said to her. But this time she isn't going to let Chuck go without saying some word to him. She can't wait for the elevator so she takes the stairs, practically running down. When she finally gets to the ground floor, Chuck is getting out of the door.

"You are doing it again" – She yells.

"What now?" – He asks.

"Is it scary to be with me if there are no obstacles?" – She asks naively.

"I love you Blair, you know that, but I think we had this conversation a lot of times"

"You know…I'm fiercely strong and…" – She clears her throat trying not to cry. – " …Independent and no man…" – She wipes her tears.

"Did I ever say you weren't?" – He says.

"Actually you didn't!" – She replies. – "Dan said that to me, and…"

"We'll discuss this some other time. Make yourself sure you get rid of the pathetic melodrama you got from those few months spent with Humphrey. It's irritating and it's not helping you" – He smiles. She looks at him like he is a total stranger to her and just before he enters his town car a dark figure comes closer to them.

"Mister and Misses Bass" – He shouts as he walks insecure steps towards them. It's clear that he is drunk. His face is pale, the circles under his eyes are darker and his eyes seem frozen…Maybe it's the booze, or maybe tears, Blair can't tell, but she knows she is the reason and she already thinks of what she'll say to him for an apology. – "Do you know that I am the scumbag" – He finally comes closer to them and wraps an arm around Chuck's neck. Even though he reeks on alcohol, and even though Chuck wouldn't tolerate that behaviour from anyone, he doesn't push him away.

"Humphrey you can't hold your drinks. Let me call you a cab" – He says.

"No. Where would I go?" – He looks at Blair and gives her a drunken smile."

"Home!" – Chuck says.

"I'm homeless, Chucky! Thanks to your girlfriend, I don't have where to spend the night. My dad is…" – He hick ups and blinks heavily. – "…Ivy's there. Georgina is staring at me like this" – He leans into Chuck's face and impersonates Georgina's way of staring at him while he sleeps.

"Blair call a cab" – He says, while he tries to take Dan's arm off of his neck.

"She said I was the scumbag. It's you Chuck…you are a scumbag…how many times I tried to point that shit out to her…" – He isn't leaning on Chuck's neck anymore and tries to stay on his own feet. – "You sold her for a hotel man…You tried to rape my sister…Yet you got something that she loves and I could die tonight and she won't care…" – Chuck isn't tolerant anymore. He turns to Blair that stands few steps away and Dan is still managing to stay firmly on his feet.

"Did you tell him about the hotel incident?" – He asks and his face becomes dark.

"Everybody knows that" – Dan comes closer to both of them. – "Every. Body." – He says slowly into his face. Maybe because she told him, maybe because Chuck can't deal with the truth, he pushes Dan strong away and he falls on the street.

"Don't talk to me ever again!" – He hisses to Blair and walks to his car.

"Chuck wait" – She runs after him.

"You are sickening me. I thought he was just a phase but you babbled everything to him?" – His voice is frightening her. – "I don't want to see you for some time."

While they're talking Dan gets up from the street and tries to get to them. This time Chuck punches him in his face and he falls down again. Before Blair can even react, Chuck is gone. She looks at Dan with disgust and leaves him lying on the street with bleeding lips. He manages to get up again and tries to get her.

"Don't follow me! I've said what I had to you!" – She says.

"Blair, I'm sorry" – He can barely see where he is going, his jaw is pulsing from pain and a thread of blood is rolling down his chin. But he doesn't care.

"Go away you creature!" – She screams and in order to avoid him, she crosses the street, but Dan goes after her. She runs across it, successfully escaping running cars.

"Blair wait…" – She can hear his voice among the sound of the cars and the sirens. She doesn't stop of course. The next time she hears him calling her name and a louder "sorry" something makes her stop. The last thing she sees is him standing in the middle of the street looking miserable, with pleading eyes. Then a harsh sound of breaks rips the air and Dan is no longer on the spot. In a blink of the eye, the traffic stops, drivers are getting out of their cars, people are running to the spot where the accident happened just to see the view, some of them to help. It takes her a while to realize what happened. Her legs are weak and she can't tell how she managed to push people in order to get to the place where Dan lies on the street with a little pool of blood around his head.

"Don't touch him!" – She screams to the girl that tries to check his pulls. – "Go away!" – She screams and kneels beside his body. The girl tells her that she is a doctor and gets her phone to call an ambulance.

"Dan? Dan? Can you hear me?" – She weeps. – "Come on, open your eyes!" – No response. She can hear people mumbling that he is probably dead. – "Come on, Dan, open your eyes, can you hear me?" – She realizes she is clenching his lapels and cries over him, when someone is literally lifting her away from Dan. – "No, where are you taking him" – And that's it. The ambulance is going away with disturbing siren and another doctor is wrapping a sweater around her shoulders, trying to calm her down.

"Is he dead?" – She asks. That's when she can feel how cold the night is.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

Dorota is buttoning up the coat on Blair, while she sits in the cab next to her.

"Mister Dan will be fine." – She tries to console her.

"Stop driving so slowly!" – Blair screams to the driver.

"Miss Blair…" – Dorota speaks again.

"If he dies I…" – She starts the sentence with sharp voice and burst into tears. Dorota is hugging her but she doesn't calm down.

In the hospital they aren't letting them anyway closer the operation room, nor tell them any information about Dan's condition, since they aren't his family. Blair screams into the nurse's face, threatens her and even pushes some sheets and pens that are on the counter. Dorota can't calm her down and when the security tires to get her out of the hospital she slaps one of them screaming not to touch her.

"Miss Blair" – Dorota sits next to her on the sidewalk. Blair Waldorf sitting on the sidewalk, hugging her knees, her face shows tracks of tears and messy make up. Not in her wildest dreams she thought she'd be in a situation like that, but she doesn't care.

"I told him that I wouldn't care if he dies today…Dorota…" – She looks at her maid with eyes full with tears. – "Why aren't they letting me in?"

Dorota hugs her and doesn't really know what to say to her.

"We should call Mister Humphrey." – She says hugging Blair.

"I can't…I can't…" – She weeps into Dorota's chest and the woman knows that she has to call Rufus.

…..

In less than fifteen minutes Rufus is there, looking older than ever, not noticing Blair or Dorota. The doctors are taking him away and Blair is still not allowed to get inside the hospital.

"He has a very serious concussion. Lost blood, but fortunately not too much and currently the doctor is operating him. He has two broken ribs and his left arm and leg are broken too. I don't want to give you false hope, you need to wait." – Rufus just nods and tries to absorb the bad news. – "You can sit here and if you need anything just call the nurse."

And he sits down on the chair, seeing his son's life flying in front of his eyes. Nobody tells him how it happened, he just knows a van hit him.

…..

It's been long frustrating three hours when the doctor comes out and tells him that his son survived the surgery and that they are about to take him to intensive care. When Rufus sees Dan's head covered with bandages and his face partly blue he doesn't breathe at all. The nurse takes him away from the hallway and forces him to sit down, hading him a cup of strong coffee.

"It's all right Sir. Everything is all right. He will be fine." – Rufus is staring at her, unable to talk.

"You aren't lying to me?" – He asks with a quiet voice.

"I am not lying to you Sir. He's young and strong and this will pass in no time. Just stay here, the doctor will come to talk to you."

During the surgery Dorota manages to take Blair to the nearest café, after they spent an hour or two sitting on the pavement where Blair cried her eyes out. She sits on the table opposite of Dorota looking in the cup of coffee in front of her.

"Do you want me to call Mister Humphrey?" – Dorota finally breaks the silence. Blair nods and Dorota takes her phone and dials a number. There is no response from the other side. – "I'll try later Miss Blair…" – She starts crying again and covers her face with her palms. – "If you want me, I can go to the hospital and…"

"What?" – She cries. Dorota as always doesn't want to talk back to her, so they remain to sit quietly on the table.

Dorota isn't able to stop her when she jumps out of the chair and furiously runs out of the café. She runs across the street and gets in front of the hospital, trying to get inside unnoticed and she succeeds. Completely lost she doesn't know where to go or who to ask and she doesn't even want to ask anyone, because they already know her as the crazy one who got thrown out by the security.

She goes upstairs, sees people and doctors and rooms and then out of nowhere she sees few nurses rolling a stretcher with a patient with head covered with bandages and purple face. She is glued by the wall as they pass by her and once they are gone she realizes that it was him. The little ratio that stayed alive in her tells her not to run after them. Instead she finds a bathroom and washes her face, corrects her hair and blows her nose in a paper towel. She takes a deep breath and gets out of the bathroom, goes downstairs and searches for intensive care. When she sees Rufus in the waiting room she relaxes a bit and goes to him.

"What are you doing here?" – Rufus asks surprised. She looks at him with devastated eyes and sits next to him.

"I was there." – She manages to say.

"What? How this happened, Blair?" – He squeezes her hand. – "You have to tell me!"

And she starts talking, her words are cut with sobs. When she tells him everything, Rufus lets go of her hand and turns his head away.

"Rufus, he'll be all right, right? Right? Rufus?" – She asks with pleading tone.

"They say so, but we…I should wait."

"Can I wait with you?"

"Why Blair?" – Rufus finally looks at her. – "Because you feel guilty? You made your choice I don't see why you should wait here. This doesn't concern you anyhow." – He says with sharp voice.

"What?" – She can't believe what he says.

"Leave my family alone Blair. We've had it enough from you…or people like you. First my daughter, than Dan. I won't let you torture him ever again."

She doesn't expect that from Rufus but he is pretty strict and his words sound too cold and she doesn't have a choice but to get out of there.

For the first time in her life she can't scheme, black mail, threat or insult. She is completely aware that she touched the ground and she has a terrible feeling that she deserves it. Dorota finally takes her home when it's around one in the morning and she collapses on her bed. She is not aware when she has fallen asleep.

…..

In the morning Jenny and Serena arrive in the hospital and join Rufus. Ivy and Lily are arriving in the same time, looking at each other with disgust. Jenny is calm, standing by Rufus, rubbing his hand, speaking something quietly to him. Serena wants to know how it happened. Nobody knows. Rufus avoids answering her questions.

"He was with Blair, wasn't he?" – She says, more like a statement than a question. Rufus nods.

"What?" – Jenny rises from the chair. – "I thought that bitch was…"

"Jenny!" – Her father interrupts her. – "Not now"

It's around noon, and more than twelve hours past after the surgery, when the doctor calls Rufus to tell him that Dan is awake and that he's stable. He is not allowed to get visitors and Rufus gets to see him for few seconds.

"He was with Blair…" – Serena mumbles into the phone and Jenny can tell she is talking with Chuck. – "Don't know…haven't seen her around…Got to go!" – She hangs up when Jenny goes closer to her. – "It was Chuck." – She says.

"I don't care" – Jenny replies.

"I'm so sorry Jenny."

"Yeah, me too."

"You think she pushed him under the car?" – Jenny says with face that is so serious and cold, Serena can't recognize her.

"You are kidding right?"

"Actually I don't."

"No, she…I called Dorota…Blair is out of mind according to her…"

"I wouldn't be surprised if she did try to kill him."- Jenny says with flat tone. – "I swear if she comes over I will kill her with my bare hands." – Jenny walks away with expressionless face and Serena remains alone again. She tries to get Blair on the phone and after the seventh ring she picks up.

"What do you want?" – She says arrogantly.

"B? Are you ok?" – Serena asks.

"I'm fine." – She says.

"I'm at the hospital. Dan is stable, everyone is here…."

"Don't bother me!" – Blair snaps and hangs up.

…

The doctor gathers Rufus, Jenny and Alison who arrives just in time when he is about to tell them Dan's condition.

"I am going to be completely honest with you. He is very fragile now. We operated his head, and the concussion was pretty strong. He will need a lot of time to recover and you have to be prepared for everything. He might have amnesia when he'll contact you, but it's not a must. Even if it happens it won't last long, it will be partial and even though he remembers you, he might have holes in his memory from certain parts from the past. You can go now, rest at home and tomorrow I will allow a brief visit"

…

When Blair arrives in the hospital it's almost two in the morning. She is wearing flat shoes, jeans and simple blazer and she is happy when nobody recognizes her at the reception. She walks quietly and takes the stairs to go up to the intensive care section. Rufus is napping sitting on the chair, with his back towards the door. Just like always, when she is about to do something she does it without doubts, so she simply walks inside the room.

He lies there, sleeping, the machines are helping him to breathe and few needles are pinned into his sane arm. The other one is in plaster that is wrapped around half of his torso. She bites her lips hard in order to stop the exit of her cries. The room is quiet, just the beeps from the machine are interrupting the dead silence.

"Dan?" – She whispers, taking his hand into hers. – "Can you hear me?" – She doesn't expect him to open his eyes at all so she starts talking. – "I didn't mean it that way. I was just very mad at you." – She sniffs. – "His hand is warm and she swears he squeezes hers a bit. - "Can you hear me? Dan?"

He opens his eyes with a huge effort, looks up in the ceiling then transfers his eyes on her. She lets out a smile and a sob in the same time.

"Where…am…I?" – He says with big pauses between the words. Before she can tell him what happened, he says: "Who…are…you?"

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

"You…don't remember?" – Blair manages to find voice to ask him but he's not in a condition to talk more than few mumbling words that should mean "No". He does look at her as if she is a complete stranger and she waits any second soon to hear him saying that he is joking. Nothing happens. – "I'm Bla…"

"What are you doing here?" – The voice of the nurse cuts her before she can say her name. – "Do you know that it is strictly forbidden any visit in this room? Get out this instant!" – She hisses and grabs Blair's arm, mumbling quietly that she can not get inside the intensive care with her dirty shoes and clothes.

"He woke up!" – Blair lets go of the nurse's tight grip. – "He's awake" – She repeats.

….

The following morning, after his doctor checks his condition, Rufus, Alison and Jenny get into the room and Dan recognizes all of them. They are happy to hear from the doctor that he doesn't have amnesia, but that if there are certain parts that he can't remember, they should not be afraid but help him to remember them. The visits are still short because he really isn't in the condition to talk for too long and he feels sleepy because of the pain killers.

..

When Blair's phone shows a number she doesn't know she picks up after several long rings.

"Hello?" – She says.

"I know you were there Blair" – Rufus says from the other side. – "I think I told you already that I don't want you around."

"What?" – She pretends she doesn't understand.

"I don't want any turbulence in his life right now. I'm asking you politely, don't come back." – She takes a deep breath, stays quiet for a few moments and replies.

"He doesn't remember me…So…" – She cleans her throat. – "Don't worry, there is nothing for me there." – She hangs up in the middle of Rufus' question about that "he doesn't remember me" part.

She turns off her cell phone, sends Dorota home, closes herself in her bedroom and snuggles in her bed. As far as she is concerned she can die tonight, she wouldn't care. As always, she is aware for what she's lost a little too late. Later than usual, as everything happens in her life. She falls asleep as the credits of Roman Holiday are rolling.

…

Serena comes to visit him a week later when he feels a bit better. He can endure longer conversations and Serena doesn't stop talking.

"I'm so glad you feel better" – She smiles and he tries to smile back. He remembers her exactly well. He knew that they dated and that it didn't end well, but he can hardly recall when they dated.

When Jenny visits him, they talk a lot. Actually she talks and he listens. When she mentions names he remembers them, but he has difficulties to remember certain people like Vanessa. When Jenny tests him and mentions Blair he says he has no idea who that is. Jenny decides not to tell him anything.

...

"He doesn't remember Blair, dad" – She smiles to Rufus.

"I know" – He replies with serious face.

"Should we…?" – Jenny asks with doubt.

"Not now" – Rufus says.

"Or ever…" – Jenny mumbles for herself.

…

He's been in the hospital for almost a month, in a regular room, and the doctor is very pleased with his recovering. He still takes pain killers and has plaster on his arm, leg and ribs, but his face is no longer purple and the wounds on his eye brow and hands are healed. Rufus, Alison and Jenny practically moved in the hospital, being around him, supporting him and being there for whatever he needs. Not in one moment he asks about Blair or he remembers her.

….

"Why are you here?" – Blair asks Serena when she gets in the foyer.

"He's getting better, B" – Serena says.

"Good. Thank you for the info, now go" – She is harsher than usual.

"He…"

"…Doesn't remember me. Is that why you are here for?" – Blair is especially annoyed when that topic is being discussed. – "Who on earth would remember Blair Waldorf when there is Serena van der Woodsen?" – She cuts the blond with her eyes.

"Who told you that?" – Serena asks but Blair doesn't reply. She goes in her room and locks herself inside. Dorota sends Serena away and asks her not to come over again.

…

During that month while Dan is in the hospital, Blair tried many times to sneak into his room, but either the Humphreys were there, either the nurse would have caught her. She takes a break for a week and a half, but after Serena shows up, she decides that it's time for her to refresh his memory.

In 3 AM sharp she is in front of the hospital, and walks in right after Rufus and Alison are leaving the building.

"Right on time" – She says and confidently walks inside.

….

When she opens the door he is awake. She doesn't say anything to him, simply walks to his bed and sits down on the chair besides him. He looks at her confused. There is another bed next to him, separated with a curtain and another man sleeps there.

"Tom is…he's on the other bed" – He says insecurely.

"Is he?" – She says.

"Yes, we are kind of covered in bandages so people are often mistaking us and…"

"I'm not here for Tom!" – She interrupts him. His eyes are doing the well known confused movement from her eyes to an empty spot and she smiles a bit.

"Do we…do we know each other?" – He asks.

"Not really…" – She answers. – "I mean, we went to high school together and I heard about the accident and I thought I should visit you"

"Oh…" - He smiles. – "You have to forgive me, but I can't remember you. This concussion was pretty bad and although I can remember most of the people and events, I have difficulties to remember certain things…or faces." – He replies sincerely.

"It's ok" – She says. – "We weren't that close. I just wanted to see how you are"

She isn't sure why she didn't babble everything to him, but something forces her not to. So she keeps playing her game.

"Now that you mentioned…I have a feeling that I know you…but…what was your name, sorry?" – He asks and her heart sinks a bit.

"Cornelia" – She says blinking faster as usual when she lies.

"Cornelia…Cornelia..." – He repeats in hope that it would help him remember but he doesn't.

"Carlyle" – She lies. And from all the last names she chose Clair's last name.

"No…sorry, it'll come back to me I'm sure. Right now I'm not at my best" – He smiles.

"Look, I have to go…I was near by and I…I have to go" – She stands up and flattens her coat. – "Bye" – She says.

"Hey…" – He says when she's almost at the door. – "Will you come back?" – He asks while she is facing the door. It's hard for her to take the smile off her face.

"I'll try" – She replies and he smiles too.

…..

Fortunately Dan forgets the name Cornelia Carlyle so he can't ask who the girl was, although Rufus is almost positive that Blair visited him again. The doctor convinces him that the pain killers and his condition are to be blamed, because besides his family and occasionally Serena, Nate, Eric and Lily, nobody showed up in his room. Rufus knows better but decides to keep his mouth shut.

….

The next time Blair shows up in the hospital he sleeps. She just puts a copy of Inside, the one where instead of his name, was printed "by Anonymous".

Nobody can tell where the book came from and although Rufus wants to take it away, he asks him to let him read it. Of course Dan can't remember that it is his own book and Rufus decides not to tell him that he wrote it.

Every day, he reads page or two because focusing on the letters are causing him headache. Jenny wants to rip her heart out when he asks her to read parts of it for him.  
Sometimes the nurse does it. He prefers when the kind woman reads for him, because he can feel that Jenny hates the storyline.

"I'm tired now" – He says, when the nurse flips a page.

"Ok Dan" – She smiles. – "May I borrow it till tomorrow, it's very interesting" – He nods.

"Carlyle" – He says out loud, when the nurse is out. – "Clair Carlyle. Clair was she?" – A flash back scene of a brief kiss in unfamiliar place hits him, but it's so brief he can't "see" well.

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

It's been hell of a month for Blair Waldorf. She managed to sneak in the hospital two or three times after she left him the copy of Inside, but each time either Rufus was there or Dan was sleeping. She even cut bangs and darkened her hair a little bit, but still, Rufus isn't dumb not to notice her with that hair change.

She turns into a real detective when comes to visit Dan. Nobody knows where she goes, except Dorota and Chuck can only guess but he doesn't say anything.

It's a warm sunny day when she goes to the hospital and a nurse tells her that she can find him on the balcony where he and other patients are enjoying the sun. Before she can step out on the balcony down the hallway a hand grabs her.

"Where?" – Pair of blue eyes are cutting her. Jenny looks older and bit more mature, but her childlike face is still pretty much the same.

"Little J" – Blair forces a smile.

"Blair has bangs?! Wow, the world must come to an end." – She smiles cynically. – "What are you doing here?" – She asks.

"I'm visiting Dan" – Blair replies.

"You know that…"

"Yes, and I'd appreciate if you don't babble anything…I want him to remember me without you shoving down his throat a story that I…"  
"That you're a bitch!" – Jenny gloats. – "Why on earth would I do you a favor and how do you know if I haven't told him yet?"

"Because you hate me enough not to bring me back into his head just like that" – After all she will always be Queen B, and whether Jenny likes it or not, she still has some influence on her.

"I don't want you around Blair" – Jenny says, avoiding commenting her last sentence.

"Yeah well…" – She takes Jenny's hand off her arm and nonchalantly walks outside on the balcony, where Dan sits in a wheelchair, having his leg in a plaster. He looks much better than the last time. There is just a small bandage on his head where he was operated and his arm seems healed. He wears sunglasses and stares in the buildings in front of him. His hair a bit longer and his curls are taking their way of growing. She smiles on that vision but bites her tongue before she says something like "you should cut your hair Humphrey".

"Hey" – She walks to him and the moment he sees her he smiles.

"Hey, it's you" – She gives her best not to hug him, instead she extends her hand and they shake hands.

"Cornelia" – She says.

"Right…" – He smiles.

"I've been around and…How are you?" – She asks.

"Much better…how are you?" – He asks and takes off his sunglasses. It's totally Dan's like to ask something like that even though he is in much worse condition.

"I've been better" – She says and sits next to him on a chair. In that chaotic month she forgets how much she needed him as a person in her life. So many idiotic things happened, bad decisions, sex tapes, arguments, illusions and tears…

"What's bothering you?" – He asks and smiles to her. – "I mean…I'm sorry, you said we weren't close friends in school I shouldn't ask…"

"No it's fine…" – She smiles. – "I'm in the middle of a very bad period of my life and…"

"A guy?" – He asks and looks at him with her big teary eyes and he swears he knows her from somewhere. She sighs loudly and nods.

"Is there actually someone that would make you cry on purpose?" – He asks. Jesus, Blair Waldorf how many times will life give you signs that you were running for the wrong one, her brain screams to her.

"Yes, but that's not why I'm here" – She looks away and wipes her eyes. – "When are you going out?" – She asks. The way he looks at her like he starts to remember her is causing weird feeling in her stomach. And he doesn't look away for quite some time and she knows she isn't that strong to endure his piercing stare.

"I guess in two-three weeks" – He says. – "You know I've been thinking…I remember all of these people. My family, Serena…Is Serena your friend?" – He asks.

"No" – She snaps. – "I mean, we were friends in school, but you know…college, work…we took our separate ways after high school."

"I really have this feeling that I know you from somewhere, but I can't recall from where. I mean I know you but I don't…is that possible?" – He smiles gently.

"I guess…you remember my face…from school…"

"No, not your face" – He says. – "You see, you sitting next to me…it's like…like it happened, like I don't know…like it was regular thing in my life" – She looks at him a bit scared and is right on the edge to tell him.

"Well…we sat next to each other in class, so maybe…" – She forces a smile. She looks away and sees Jenny standing by the door and she knows it's time for her to leave. – "I have to go now" – She stands up and he follows her with his eyes.

"You should…you should come over more often…if you want. I mean, I like your company" – He says.

"I'll try" – She says and waves to him.

"And whoever makes you sad…you deserve better!" – He adds staring in front of him.

…

"I don't know why I'm doing you a favor, but Serena called and I said that he rests, although she wanted to come over!" – Jenny hisses.

"Thanks" – Blair says coldly like Jenny is still one of her minions.

"Don't you treat me that way Blair…or should I call you by your middle name"

"I told you already why I'm doing this!" – Blair snaps.

"Yeah, but not for long!"

"What do you want little J?"

"From some idiotic reason, he lights up when you visit, it doesn't matter if me or my dad catch you or not, we know that you were there. I swear if anyhow he suffers again because of you…"

"Don't threaten me kid" – Blair walks away.

Jenny remains alone, and as much as she hates Blair, she hates to admit that she'll do a miracle for Dan's recovering. She sighs and goes to take a coffee.

…

"Jenny do you remember Cornelia" – Dan asks when she goes on the balcony.

"Yeah…a bit" – She says.

"What she was to me?" – He asks. Jenny waits for some moments before she answers.

"A classmate" – She says and realizes that in that second she agreed to help Blair.

"Wasn't she my friend or…I don't know…did we date? – Jenny takes a big sip of her coffee.

"No" – She says. – "Just classmates."

"Weird. I have a feeling like…."

"What?"- Jenny snaps.

"Did I like her?" – He asks naively.

"Dan, you were only classmates, I don't think you did. You were with Serena back then."

"Yeah I do remember that, but I have a feeling that….I don't know, like I cared about her. " – Jenny stares at him ready to tell him everything, but then her phone rings and she has to call.

Dan remains on the balcony alone and when the nurse comes to take him inside, he asks her to bring him a notebook and a pen.

tbc


	5. Chapter 5

A/N First of all thank you guys so much for the great reviews. I can't tell you how much I enjoy the fact that you like this fic. Almost all of you asked not to "let" Dan remember her fast. Don't worry, I didn't have that in mind at all. I'm gonna torture Blair. ;) Enjoy!

* * *

"You say I don't have amnesia, but…" – He says to the doctor when he visits him in the morning for the regular check.

"But what?" – The man writes something into his list and doesn't look at him.

"You see, I remember all of them." – Dan starts.

"But you lack some certain memories" – The doctor looks at him. – "Don't worry Daniel, it will come back to you. It is more than normal not to remember certain events from the past. I am beyond happy with your recover"

"I don't remember this person…" – Dan continues. – "She says we went to high school together, and I can't recall a single memory from that period. I mean I can't remember her face but I have a feeling that I know her and it kills me…you know like the memory is right here on the edge, yet it won't come out. It's frustrating." – Dan talks fast. The doctor laughs.

"Son, you just said three thousand words in a single minute, I am not worried that you won't remember her. It is normal, as I said. Especially if she was a random person in school, her face and the memory of her is stuck somewhere in the back of your conscience…"

"Well she says we were classmates…" – Dan adds absently.

"As I said, it will come back to you. For now you are doing better than well"

"Is there a chance that I won't remember ever?" – Dan asks naively.

"Your concussion was serious, but you didn't lose your memory. There is just a partial amnesia of events or people that weren't involved in your daily life. Your memory will come back. In a month or two…Don't worry. If everything goes well, you are leaving the hospital in less than two weeks."

The doctor leaves and Dan gets the notebook that the nurse gave him, and with his sane hand starts writing all the words that are coming into his mind.

_Black and white floor, elevator, Constance…_

Now who the hell was Constance?!

….

"Bangs?" – Georgina walks into the foyer when Blair is about to leave it. – "You are so disguised I almost didn't recognize you" – She smirks after her sarcastic comment on Blair's new hairdo.

"What do you want?" – Blair rolls her eyes.

"I came to see the sinner with guilty conscience. You know I always pitied Humphrey, but now…what the fuck are you doing?" – She asks.

"I am not in the mood to even look at you, not to mention having a conversation" – Blair tries to pass by her, but Georgina steps in her way.

"I really wanted him to die, so you can suffer and feel miserable your entire life." – She is ripping her face with her light blue evil eyes.

"Well, you are insane, what's new?"

"Blair!" – She hisses, when Blair walks past her. – "You know I'll tell him!" – She snaps.

"What would keep your mouth shut Georgina?" – Blair asks desperately.

"Nothing!" – She smiles. – "I just want to have fun. You know, even a fucking van isn't enough to fix his stupid brain, he will fall for you again, I guess I'll do a good deed, spare him from another heartbreak."

"How do you even know this?" – Blair asks.

"I was Gossip Girl once, remember?"

"Ok. Just say what you want, and you'll have it. Just…"

"Where is Chuck btw? Such grand love and you suddenly forgot all about it." – Georgina is annoyingly calm.

"What do you want?" – Blair screams.

"Don't visit him again" – She simply says.

"What do you have from that?" – Blair asks.

"I expect once he's sane, to continue trashing you and your lame little friends in the newspapers. We had a deal and I am not gonna let you or a car accident or amnesia to fuck that. Go there one more time and I will tell him every dirty detail that he can't remember!" - Blair stands in front of her closing her eyes in anger and biting her lips. – "Just like I thought so" – Georgina smirks. – "Good reputation more than Dan Humphrey. Bravo. As it should be!" – She leaves and Blair sits on the first stair and shoves her head in her hands.

…

A week passes, than another and he really goes out of the hospital in time. Nobody can tell him who Cornelia Carlyle is, where she lives, where she disappeared, nothing. Rufus and Jenny don't say a word at all, and before he goes back home, Jenny hides the year books. She knows that's evil from her, but she hopes that because Blair didn't show up in weeks, she probably won't come back. One problem less in their lives.

The loft is also another thing that he has a hard time to remember to. It's all new to him, he doesn't know which one of the rooms is his, and neither can recall that he read all of those books that are placed on the shelves above the headboard. The lap top is also there, and when he opens it he finds many Word files with short stories, long stories, a bit poetry and several files named as Blair, Serena, Chuck, Nate. He opens first the file with Chuck's name on it, he reads it, yet nothing seems logical or familiar to him. Blair's too. He assumes he wrote that, because Rufus once told him he was writing, and he assumes that the characters are fictional. He studies his room, the books, the imposant collection of DVDs and a little doll with cute chubby face that is shoved between the books. There are no clues in his head about any item in his room. It's all new and even though it's a frustrating feeling he kind of likes the new chapter of investigation that life is giving him.

The same day Georgina shows up at the door of the loft and although Rufus is doing his best to send her back, Dan sees her. On her huge surprise he doesn't remember her too. She introduces herself, tells him that they dated, mentions Milo, but Dan looks at her with confused face.

"Ah damn…" – She mumbles. – "Nothing then…I'm patient. It'll come back to you." – She smiles and leaves.

Dan doesn't ask any further questions about her and Rufus feels relaxed.

…

When Blair or Cornelia doesn't show up as the second month is rolling after the accident, he gives up. Serena would be the best source he thinks, but Serena is somewhere in Europe, not assuming that Blair tangled herself into something so complicated.

Jenny takes him on tour around the city. He does remember certain places, like Central Park or Park Avenue, but he doesn't remember his old school, or New York University. Not even the steps in front of MET. As they are going back home, he turns around several times and stares the steps through the back window of the car. Jenny knows. She doesn't say anything and mentally curses Blair Waldorf for the millionth time.

…

While Rufus is at his gallery and Jenny is meeting some old friends, he decides that he can't stay at home. He walks carefully and slowly down the street, gets a cab and it takes him to the city. Just in case he has his address written on a paper that he keeps in his front pocket of his plaid shirt.

He walks aimlessly through the streets, gets coffee to go, buys some books in a book store that seem to have interesting titles. He knows that he loved to read, but it's funny how none of the titles he has at home mean practically nothing to him.

….

He repeats his walks through the city wherever he can sneak out, although Rufus and Jenny are freaking out every time he does it. One time when he takes another aimless walk through the city, he stops in front of a theater that shows old movies, and a poster of Breakfast at Tiffany's is pinned on the wall.

"I remember this" – He says for himself and smiles. Looking him from aside, he probably seems like a crazy person, but it really means to him that he remembers. As he stands in front of the door, smiling at the poster, people are getting out of the cinema.

"Camellia?!" – He smiles, and Blair widens her eyes when she sees him. She looks around, scared that Georgina might have her spies around, but she stops to say hello.

"Hi. Cornelia" – She corrects him.

"Oh God, I'm sorry. Cornelia!" – He apologizes.

"What are you doing here?" – She asks and again looks carefully around.

"Ah…Well you see I like to walk around the city…because goddamn it I have forgotten many things. I don't remember half of the things I've been doing."- He admits.

"Oh" – Blair smiles, a bit relaxed now that she hears him saying it. So it's not only her he doesn't remember.

"I stopped here, because I do remember this movie. At home I have like five hundredth DVDs and they are all just titles for me, can't recall anything. So this was…this was a huge thing for me. I don't even remember this city" – He says.

Blair is anxious and although she wants to stay and talk to him, she is scared from Georgina's threat and tries to make an excuse.

"Well that's great, but I have to go…" – She steps few steps away.

"Wait, wait…" – He says. – "Why do you always run away?" – Blair turns around. – "I mean, we can have a coffee…if you want. If you are free right now. Are you?" – He asks in his manner, blurting out words as he used to do when he was nervous around her.

"Yes, but…" – Blair stops.

"You have a boyfriend I get it"- Dan smiles.

"No…yeah I assume we can have coffee" – She agrees.

….

The place is a nice and quiet café and there are few other people enjoying their dark beverages.

"So…what do you do in life Cornelia?" – He smiles because he finally pronounced her name right.

"I work in my mother's company. Fashion stuff." – She is afraid to say more details.

"My family says that I'm a writer. Apparently I wrote a book. My sister says it's all fiction. I read it again and most of the things I do remember…" – Blair chokes on her coffee and starts coughing unable to take a breath. Dan taps her back, until she calms down.

"Which…" – She cleans her throat again. – "Which book?" – She asks.

"Inside"- He says. – "Have you read it?" – He asks.

"No" – She doesn't lie. – "I mean, I know the book…I've heard of it"

"So it wasn't just five copies for my family after all" – He laughs.

"I think it was popular, but I don't read. I mean…I haven't read it."

They stay there for an hour, talking and it actually looks a lot like a date. With each word Blair has to lie, even though she hates herself for it. She tells him some things in a very disguised manner that might lead him to remember her, but nothing seems to work.

When they are leaving the café he insists to walk her home after she blurts out that she lives several blocks down. They are walking down the street quietly and she bites her cheeks, scared both from the silence and of Georgina. When they arrive in front of Blair's building he stops and stares at it, then turns his head to the street. She can tell that something is coming back to him.

"Here…" – He says.

"What?" – Blair hardly has voice.

"I think that here…on this street happened the accident. Blair tries to take a breath as soundless as she could even though she feels her chest heavier than ever.

"Are…are you sure?"

"I think I am" – He looks at her with concerned eyes. She doesn't know what to say. Her phone rings.

"_Should I get out of the car and tell Brooklyn everything or are you still pretending to be someone else" _– Chuck's voice rips her ear.

"Ok, I'll be right there" – She smiles and hangs up. – "I had a lovely time Dan, I really have to go now."

"Oh…yeah me too. Um…" – He scratches his head. – "Would be too much if I ask you to give me your number?" – She panics a bit but she still answers.

"Maybe…maybe some other time" – And she walks inside the building fast. She hates the whole teenage idiotic game. Once Dan is gone, she walks out and Chuck is already in front of the door.

"Cornelia? Really? And why?" – He asks.

"Because he doesn't remember me and I started this stupid thing and…"

"You still care about Humphrey?" – Chuck asks.

"Well, I feel guilty and…"

"No, no, no. Besides that, you wouldn't go this far if you didn't care about someone." – He looks away.

"You said…"

"This is sick even for me" – He walks away, but for the first time Blair doesn't feel bad or insecure. As a matter of fact she is relieved when he goes.

….

That night Dan has a dream. He can see that black and white tiled floor better. A staircase. Marvel pillars. A girl with no face. A brownish dress. Hands on his lapels. Weird feeling in his stomach. He wakes up and tries to write the dream down, but till he reaches for the pen and the notebook after he turns the lights on, the dream is already faded away….

….

The following morning when Blair gets out of her building Dan is standing on the pavement in front of the entrance. If anyone would have told her that any time she'd see Dan Humphrey he'd cause her a minor heartache she'd probably punch them.

"Ok, don't freak out, I know that we aren't friends, but every time I see you, I seem to have some flash backs. Not that you can help me, but I have a feeling you know…that… I don't know, like you are helping me in a weird way"- He says. – "Good morning" – He adds in the end.

"What? What flash backs? What did you remember?" – Blair demands to know, skipping the greeting.

"Well maybe it's nothing, but it kills me. I can remember but I can't. You say we weren't close friends in school, but I can swear that we were. I can't say why, it's just…I have a feeling that I know you. Even in the hospital. Right after you'd have left, I'd have had a dream or a flash back that is so brief and in blur…You are causing it…" – Blair stares at him with narrowed eyebrows and then her face relaxes and she smiles.

"Ah…Humphrey" – She sighs. And that's when it happens. He gives her a questionable look.

"Can you…can you say it again?" – Dan asks. She wants to punch herself in the face. All those lies and careful chosen truth and now she screws her own game with the well known pronunciation of his name.

"What?" – She pretends she didn't know what she said.

"My name."

"Humphrey?" – She says with as plain tone as she can.

"Yes, but like before" – She screams internally.

"Humphrey" – She repeats it again like the first time. Dan closes his eyes and narrows his eyebrows.

"Say it again." – This is all too familiar for her, but she says it anyway. They are standing in the middle of the street like two idiots, and it's bizarre and comical in the same time.

"I know your voice" – He says as he opens his eyes. – "I don't know...maybe it's nothing, but your voice today sounds very familiar to me." - She looks at him with hope. - "This is frustrating. I'm torturing a total stranger just because I had unconnected REM phase. I'm sorry, don't mind me" - Blair nods and she has to leave the spot otherwise she'd start crying. The cloud of her perfume that floats in the air makes Dan's eyes close again and he inhales...

tbc


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm glad you feel better" – Nate says to him as he walks inside the loft.

"Thanks" – Dan smiles. – "How are you?"

"I'm ok" – He smiles wider as Jenny gets out of her bedroom and greets him.

They are having waffles and juice and they talk and laugh a lot. Dan remembers him and he remembers most of their time spent together and Jenny is happy that he finally is relaxed and that the tensed face he had the previous days is finally gone. Until Nate mentions Blair.

"So did Blair show up?" – He asks in his typical a bit naïve manner.

"Who?" – Dan asks and Jenny is making faces to Nate behind her brother's shoulder. Nate doesn't get it.

"Blair" – Nate says again a bit insecure after Jenny is mouthing something to him.

"Who's that?" – Dan asks again.

"**No one" "Are you kidding me?"** – Jenny and Nate speak in the same time. They continue talking in the same time, babbling things, correcting each other, until Dan asks them to stop.

"Ok. Jenny wait. Nate? Who is Blair?"

"I don't know what is she trying to say, but Blair…dude?" – Nate doesn't know that Dan doesn't remember Blair or that he has partial amnesia. But when he realizes that Dan doesn't joke he gathers himself and cleans his throat. – "He doesn't remember?" – He asks Jenny and she doesn't answer, but leaves them alone. – "No, this is crazy man. How…from all the people, you don't remember Blair? It's probably killing her."

"Her?" – Dan asks. – "So it's a girl."

"Oh man" – Nate brushes his face with his hands. – "Yes it's a girl. Man you aren't kidding…Blair Waldorf! You spent your high school hating on each other till a Christmas miracle happened and you fall madly in love with her…" – Dan stares at him as he's insane. – "Come on, you have to have some pictures in your room…a year book?"

"I guess I have, if this is true. How come…I know that I was with Serena."

"Well they are…were best friends but…" – That's when Jenny gets out of her room and waves her hand so Nate can see her. He excuses himself, saying that he needs the bathroom and goes to Jenny's room.

…

"No way"- He giggles. – "I know Blair is crazy at times and when she lies that is a perfect story with no holes, but this…?

"Don't shove Blair down his throat. If she doesn't want to tell him who she is, he'll forget about her and till then she'd be with Chuck or somewhere out of New York."

"Jenny wait a second. You know that you can't keep him in a bell jar. He'll find out sooner or later, or he'll remember her. Knowing Dan…he'll hate the lie."

"You are forgetting that he practically died on that street, trying to get her" – Jenny reminds him.

"Fine, I won't mention her again…I just think this is stupid."

….

Blair is working in her office at home, trying hard to focus and please her mother's wishes and instructions. Dorota interrupts her and announces Nate. When he walks in he looks at her with accusing eyes.

"Lying to a man with amnesia…How far will you go Blair?"

"God…I had no choice" – She drops the pen and sinks her head into her resting elbows on the desk. – "He woke up and I had to think of something very fast. And he was fragile and me telling him who I really was…I want him to remember without me forcing him or telling the truth."

"I swear I thought I've seen everything in high school but this is probably your ultimate project. You against yourself" – Nate smiles.

"You didn't say anything did you?" – It occurs to her that Nate would do that.

"No" – He lies.

"Natey?" – She asks again.

"No. Nothing"

…..

She is ready to go to bed when her phone rings. The display makes her heart skip a beat and she doesn't breathe at all. It's Dan. It rings for a long time and she sits frozen on the bed and stares at it. When he gives up she turns the phone off and she reminds herself to get herself a new number the first thing in the morning. She also reminds herself to go and yell to Nate the following day. Of course she can't fall asleep and thinks of the worst possible scenarios.

When the doorman opens the door for her Dan is already standing there. That's it. Her idiotic way of "helping" him remember is now badly failed and she walks like a sinner towards him.

"Hi" – She says with a bitter tone and a half smile.

"You are the one who can help me"- He says. – "Where can I find Blair…" – He takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and reads – "Waldorf".

Blair is staring into his eyes without a blink and he doesn't look away. This can't be happening. He is trolling her or he's tricking her to admit that she was lying. "Think Blair" her brain screams but she is paralyzed. All she can do is stare into his eyes and she knows that she made one of her infamous deer face but that is not important right now.

"Cornelia" – Dan says. – "I'm sorry, I assumed…Since we went to school together and I can't get rid of this feeling that I know you. I guess…I hope you know her?" – He says.

"What makes you think that?" – Blair finally blinks.

"Nate told me that…" –She doesn't listen what he says, she tries to think when is the next flight to Paris so she can run away and never come back. Screw boys and love and Chuck and Waldorf Designs, she needs a break from this and her crazy brain. – "So?" – He finishes his sentence.

"What?" – Blair acts a bit crazy with her incoherent thoughts and questions.

"Do you know who this Blair girl is?"- He asks again. When Blair closes her eyes and tries to get some air he realizes how pale she is. - "I'm sorry…I literally attacked you with information and questions, are you ok?"- Blair opens her eyes and she feels dizzy.

"No…"- She has to hold his arm to stabilize her balance. – "I'm going back home"

"I'll walk you"- He says.

"No, no. I'm fine" – She panics even more, but she feels too weak and his arm feels safe and warm so she rests on him like her life depends on it.

When they walk in the foyer he doesn't react anyhow, just takes her to the living room and she sits down on the sofa. The bomb of his memory is ticking and it's just a matter of time when Dorota will show up and blurts out something.

"Can I get you something?" – He asks.

"No, I'm fine. I had a rough night so I guess I'm just tired" –Dan sits next to her.

"Look, I'm sorry. It seems that I'm stalking you. I don't. I mean…I know you have your own life and this is happening because you were kind enough to visit me, and I don't want to force you to be my friend…" – Oh God, she thinks, remembering her or not, this is happening all over again.

"It's ok" – She doesn't know what else to say.

"Do you remember that Blair girl? I don't have any photos at home" – She screams "thank you little J" in her head. – "Nate left abruptly and there are not many people that can answer me. If she was my girlfriend and went to our school, I guess you know her"

"No" – Blair tangles herself into a worse lie. – "I mean, I don't know her personally. I remember her from school. Pretty girl, but I can't say much" – She says.

"Oh"- He says sadly. – "I really hoped you could have helped me."

"Sorry" – Blair says. – "I wasn't part of their circle of friends, I wasn't popular and…" – As she talks she realizes that Dan's eyes are wondering around the living room. She can't remember when was the last time she was so stressed and frightened.

"You can go now, I am better, plus I really have to work"- She tries to distract him.

"Right, I'm sorry." – They both stand up and she walks him to the elevator. He walks in and before he pushes the button he puts his hand on the door. – "Look…I'd really love to go out with you sometime" – He says a bit coyly.

"Dan I told you already, I don't know…"

"No, no, no…" – He interrupts her. – "Forget Blair. I dialed her number nobody calls and it's better that way. I want to go out with you, I swear I won't bother you with questions about past events. Just a plain hanging together"- He smiles. She'll be damned but she nods. Maybe because she isn't rational or maybe because she can't run away anymore she doesn't know. – "Will you give me your number, so I can…" – And because her life is a complex mix of bad karma, she didn't get her new number because he was waiting at the door, she doesn't know what other lie to say to him.

"How about getting a coffee now?" – She avoids the answer.

"I thought you had to work"- But she is already in the elevator and they are going down.

….

She takes him to a café near NYU, lets him talk most of the time and even though he asks her questions she decides not to lie to him. She remains Cornelia for him, but her answers are so Blair like. The day is long, the coffee turns into pizza, the pizza turns into a glass of wine and in the end they are raiding a vintage bookstore. She picks several books for him, something that she recommends in hope that will bring him some clues. When Blair says it's time for them to go home, he waits till she gets a cab. Before she gets inside the car, he leans in and kisses her cheek, but she moves and he traces his lips on a small part on hers. She smiles and leaves.

"Just go" – She barks to the driver.

Dan's dream that night is different. A hallway and a girl with shiny brown curls, sitting on the floor. She has no face again.

….

The following week she has to go to Paris with her mother. When she comes back three weeks later, Dan texts her on her new number asking her to meet him in that same cafe.

When they meet there, he tells her that Serena came back and her throat is clenching.

"My friend…my ex girlfriend told me everything about Blair"

"What exactly?" – Blair asks with quiet voice and she waits for him to start trashing her.

"Well, everything. The accident happened because of her, she was never good to me, and now she is probably married or was married even in the time of the accident, so….

"Mhm" – Blair mumbles and anger sparkles from her eyes.

"I guess I won't bother myself with that chapter anymore." – He says calmly sipping his coffee.

"Because that girl told you not to?"

"Well if she was that bad with me and if she is actually married…And I kind of I guess date Serena again"- He admits.

Blair's face gets darker than ever and she wants to hit him harder than that van did. She waits about ten minutes before she excuses herself, gets off the chair and leaves.

tbc


	7. Chapter 7

When Dorota brings her tea in her room, she is already in bed, covered with the comforter up to her chin.

"Here, a nice tea for calming Miss Blair's nerves. My mother's recipe." – Dorota smiles.

"Dorota" –Blair doesn't even notice the cup of tea that Dorota puts on the night stand.

"Yes, one teaspoon of honey and no lemon" – She smiles.

"No, no…I wanted to ask you a question." –She lifts on her elbows and rests on the headboard. – "I know that you will say all the nice words, but why Serena is always the better one? Why I'm always the unnoticed one? I know I can't compare my look to hers…"

"Miss Blair" –Dorota says it a bit louder and interrupts her. – "I don't want to see you like this. Miss Blair is smart and hardworking and pretty. Miss Blair no compare to Miss Serena"

"Answer me Dorota" –Blair smiles.

"There two types of people. The first type…life serve them with silver spoon. The others…they have to work for everything." – Dorota sits next to her on the bed. – "You Miss Blair must never compare yourself to nobody. I think very wrong that your mother did that too. You are you."

"Dan dates Serena. Again"- Blair sighs.

"Did you tell Mister Lonely Boy who are you?"

"No"

"I say you have to tell him. But if I know anything from working here, that is a good scheme. If Miss Blair can spend more time with him…he will fall in love with her again" – Dorota puts the cup of coffee in her hands. – "And he will remember faster." – The woman winks to her and leaves her alone.

Later in the evening, Chuck calls her. The conversation is dull and none of them tries to make it less boring or meaningful.

"Did Humphrey remember the love of his life?" – He asks.

"Yes, he's with her as a matter of fact" – Blair sighs.

"That was fast" – Chuck mumbles.

"He's with Serena, no need of sarcasm Chuck"

They keep talking and he tells her that he isn't in New York, mentions his crazy intention to bring his father down. Blair hardly listens. All she thinks about is how Serena and Dan are together.

….

Blair disappears. She doesn't call him and practically doesn't go outside in days and focuses on her work. Whenever she wants to check Gossip Girl she closes her lap top, even better, she deletes all the history and forbids herself to even type "Gossip Girl" in the browser. It's better that way she decides.

Serena takes him out for late lunch and although she kissed him several times, Dan isn't sure what is going on. One thing he knows for sure is that he doesn't feel anything for her, and whenever she wants to come over in his loft he finds excuses for her not to come over.

They are eating their food quietly when Serena breaks the silence.

"Is the food ok?" – She asks.

"Yes" – He replies shortly.

"You seem…distant, are you ok?" – Dan puts the fork down.

"I asked Jenny about this Blair girl and she kind of confirmed everything you said" – Serena can't hide her smile.

"Did you try to find her?" – She asks.

"Jenny showed me some pictures she found on the Internet. She has ginger hair and blue eyes…I swear I don't know her" – He gets his fork and continues eating.

Serena realizes that something is wrong in the whole picture. Why would Jenny show him fake pictures and what is she hiding from him. She rushes to find a picture of Blair in her phone but she decides to talk to Jenny first.

They are finishing their dinner and although Serena wants to take him to the movies he says that he wants to go home. When she tries to kiss him he turns his head aside.

"What's wrong?" – Serena asks.

"Nothing, I just…" – Dan steps back. – "I need to be by myself. There are so many confusing things right now…I have to figure out"

"Is this because I told you what happened between you and Blair?" – She asks.

"No…well yes. I mean if I loved her that much just a couple of months ago…"

"I told you that she is with someone else now. She hurt you badly, you almost died because of her"

"Let's put that aside. I really need some time alone Serena. Please don't get me wrong" – He says and leaves, while Serena remains standing on the sidewalk with confused face. When she loses him from her eyesight, she gets her phone and calls Jenny.

"What is going on here? Why did you show him wrong pictures and lied to him that this certain girl was Blair?" – Jenny doesn't reply. – "Jenny!"

"I don't want him to know who she is." – She replies.

"Well he needs to know!" – Serena yells.

"It's better this way Serena. Do you want him to go and find her? Who needs the drama all over again?" – Jenny convinces her.

"This will end sooner or later, Jenny."

"Let's just leave it this way" – Jenny says and hangs up.

Jenny's answers are sincere but they are more helpful for Blair than Serena can ever imagine.

…

It's almost midnight and Blair is resting in bed watching a movie when her phone rings.

"Can you come down please?" –Dan says and she can feel he doesn't sound good. With every phone call or meeting she is on the edge of a break down, not knowing if he remembered everything and how he will react. She always expects him to start yelling or accusing her for lying, but it never happens. She gets out of bed fast, puts on the first coat from her closet, that happens to be a long, black and furry one and she does look like a diva in it. Her conspiracy goes that far that she even told her doorman not to tell Dan that the Waldorfs' are residing in that building. Funny how everyone is cooperating with her, so before Dan calls, the doorman tells him that Miss Carlyle is at home but doesn't let him in.

She sees him, standing alone on the sidewalk and walks towards him slowly. Again her panic prevails and she is ready to take every accusation.

"Are you ok?" –She asks when he glues his eyes on her. She isn't looking perfect, she has no make up on, her hair is simply combed down and her bangs are a bit messy. He steps closer, puts his cold hands on her face and kisses her. It's so sudden and unexpected she forgets to close her eyes and enjoy the kiss. She has forgotten how it felt to be kissed by Dan, and seeing his dark long lashes resting down his eye lids and his calm and content face are waking her butterflies again. She stands stiffed and doesn't kiss him back.

"I'm sorry" – He says quietly, practically in her mouth. She is still staring at him as if he's a miracle. They share another long stare before Dan leaves fast. She remains alone on the street in her pajamas and fur coat, standing on the cold breeze, brushing her fingertips over her lips.

tbc


	8. Chapter 8

On the regular check, his doctor is very pleased with his condition, even though Dan says that his old life seems like a half read book. He tells him how he hardly recognized his home, some of the streets in his neighborhood and the city. He tells him about the books he owns and the fact that he had read all of them but remembers none. His doctor suggests him to start reading the books and watching what used to have been his favorite movies, because usually they might lead him to memories about certain people or events in his life.

…

"How long are you going to do this Blair?" – Nate asks her, when he visits her again.

"Well I have two options. One – tell him all and make Serena and Jenny being right. Two – emigrate." – Nate laughs.

"Why do you have to complicate? Just tell him the truth. With amnesia or without, he's Dan. I mean if he doesn't understand no one will. Unless you have ulterior motive." –He grins.

"I don't!" – She cries.

"Then why this sudden Humphrey obsession? I haven't seen you with or around Chuck lately" – He teases. Blair is silent. – "I'm sorry, that was too much"

"No, you're right. I don't know if I want that anymore. I'm so tired and…I don't think we both want it." – She runs her hand through her hair. – "And I'm not Humphrey obsessed. I just wait for the right moment to tell him." – She takes a sip from her juice. – "To be even more complicated, he kissed me the other day" – Nate practically jumps from the armchair.

"I can't believe this!" – He smiles. – "A man with half memory lost if falling for you again. This is incredible" – He giggles.

"What's wrong with me Natey?" – She asks quietly. – "I had it all and throw it away."

"It's not too late. But don't mess up this time. And tell him for god's sake!"

….

Soon after Nate leaves Blair's, Serena shows up. There is no friendliness in her voice and she doesn't even greet Blair.

"Teaming up with Jenny and lying to him? Really?" – She snaps. – "Jenny showed him pictures of some girl saying that that's Blair Waldorf and the poor creature is even more confused now. What do you want to aim Blair?"

"He doesn't remember _me_, why are _you_ so upset?" – Blair replies in the same harsh manner. – "You got what you wanted, I got what I deserved. No need to panic. I won't steal your boyfriend."

"Again. You should have added "again" at the end of the sentence" – She adds cynically.

"You know I didn't steal anything from you. Maybe he was yours in your head, but technically he wasn't." – Blair corrects her. – "What do you want?"

"How often are you two seeing each other?" – She asks.

"There is no "the two of us" at all. I visited him in the hospital several times and told him the lie because…you know already"

"Do you understand that you are the only one who is going to end up hurt in the end? He will forever hate you for doing this. Plus you are involving Jenny. Don't do that"

"I do not involve anyone in this. Well, except Dorota and my doorman. Jenny is sort of helping me, willingly. And I _will_ tell him." – She says with worried face. - "I hope you and that little witch will be happy because everything you said to him about me would turn out right."

"You are so lost" – Serena says and leaves her alone.

…

She calls him and asks him out, almost a week after he kissed her. In between she avoids remembering the feelings that kiss caused to her. He was spending sleepless nights trying to remember how all that felt normal and familiar but each time he would have almost remembered he was failing. Jenny could say anything he thinks, he knows this girl from before. In his desperate tries to put the things together in his head, he gets Inside again and flips through the pages.

_**Clair Carlyle. **_

Of course, he thinks. It makes sense now. If he wrote that book he used her last name and the first letter of her name. It is so clear now. He wrote a book about this girl. Maybe she was the reason he and that Blair girl had fight. It's like an epiphany to him, but still he can't remember the other side of the story. Where is Blair, why he has the feeling that he doesn't know the girl that Jenny showed him on those photos? Why Cornelia lied that they were just acquaintances at school?

When she calls him, he rushes to get ready faster, and when they finally meet in front of the small gallery he smiles widely and hugs her tight. Blair is still careful but she knows she has to start from somewhere. They are getting inside and start observing the paintings and the installations.

"I'm sorry for the other day" – Dan starts. – "I didn't know what was happening to me till this afternoon" – Blair can feel her blood getting frozen. – "Everybody is talking about this Blair Waldorf that I can hardly remember. And then it occurred to me."

"W-what…?" – Blair asks with insecure voice.

"You and I weren't just classmates, weren't we?" –He smiles. Blair looks aside and bites her lips.

"No, we weren't" –She says.

"I knew it" – Dan says a bit louder and his voice echoes in the hall. – "I knew it" – He says again quietly. – "I know you from before and it didn't hit me till yesterday, when I started reading parts of my book. Clair Carlyle." – He points to her. – "C.C" – He smiles. Blair's chests are moving up and down faster and she knows she has a panic attack.

"C.C?" – She asks, a bit confused.

"You and I…you are friends with Blair and I guess all the problems I had with her were because…" – He stops. – "I like you. And it's not because I'm confused. I like you as if it comes with me from before. It was like that wasn't it?" – He asks. Blair wants to slap her forehead but keeps staring at him and she knows that she tangled herself and him into the web of lies and they can't practically get out of it.

"Ok, let's sit down"- She pushes him lightly on the nearest bench in the gallery, where there are no people. He sits down, and she takes his hand in hers. – "You might be partly right. But…" – She cleans her throat. – "Don't you remember anything? The way Blair treated you? The time you spent with her?" – He shakes his head. – "From what I know is that…you fall for her about two years ago. You two were sworn enemies at school because…I don't think I know exactly why. I think she was a bit narrow minded and angry child and you were…one of those do-gooder types and…don't you remember that time you were comforting her in the hallway, after Serena…"

"I had a dream about a hallway with a girl in dark green dress" – Dan interrupts her.

"I think she never hated you" – Blair avoids confirming the detail. – "I think…I am free to say that if Serena or Blair's ex boyfriend didn't exist, you and m…her would have been together much earlier."

"So you and her were very close since you know this?" – He asks.

"Sort of…" – Blair smiles.

"When did you and I…?" – He asks. Blair closes her eyes in pain.

"I don't know how you came up with that" – She starts.

"I wrote a book about you" – He says.

"What if that's all fiction. I mean, you love Blair, you said it to her. Remember?" – She bites her tongue.

"She told you this?" – He asks naively and she feels like screaming.

"Look I have sources, you said it."

"Why do we keep talking about her? I really wanted to tell you that I want to spend more time with you. I keep telling you that since the hospital and you always avoid me. Tell me if there is someone else, I will understand."

"No. But Blair…" – She never felt worse.

"I want you" – He adds looking at her with his sincere warm eyes. – "What is the point of forcing this when I can't even remember her, I don't know her and she according to everything didn't want to be with me?" – She looks at him with sad eyes and her frustration practically reaches the ceiling.

"I'm afraid I will disappoint you, Dan" – She stands up and leaves the gallery. He runs after her and she is already out when he steps in front of her.

"So that means that...do you…? How about your feelings for me?" – If karma was beating the hell out of her, this was for sure the last kick before she falls dead.

"I have to go. Just listen to what I've said to you" – But he is determined to hear her answer and when she avoids it again, he kisses her. Again. In the middle of the sidewalk. She kisses back and it's not a brief peck on the lips, it's a passionate, open mouth, French kiss. It feels damn good, Blair thinks.

tbc


	9. Chapter 9

After the huge misunderstanding Blair knows that she is caught in her own web of deniability, lies and fears and she knows that each time she decides to prolong telling him the truth it would be more painful for him when he'll remember.

"This is the day"- She says to herself in the mirror the following day. She smiles when she remembers the kiss and her silly excuses not to go with him to Brooklyn.

She dresses up, eats a quick breakfast and she is ready. Whatever happens she'll take it.

"Chuck?" – He waits for her in the living room.

"Making out with Humphrey in the middle of the streets doesn't suit you" – He says.

"Since when you have time to see what's going on around you?" – She snaps.

"You know that I care about you. Did you tell him?" – He asks.

"It's a bit complicated." – She tells him the shortened story and Chuck laughs.

"Humphrey is my competition" – He sighs between his laugh.

"No he's not" – Blair says with a smile. – "You are out of the game" – She puts her coat on and leaves.

….

She walks into the loft as she used to, not bothering to knock or even think if Rufus or Jenny might be there. Luckily they aren't. He's is drinking his tea by the window and when he turns around as she walks in it hits him. He stands there like he's a statue and just stares.

"Dan?" – She says. He comes back to reality and smiles to her. She knows that it was beyond close. After all she's there to help him remember.

"Hey" – He comes closer to her and hugs her.

"Are you ok?" – She asks.

"I am…I think I am"

"I brought some movies that we can watch" – She puts the bag on the counter.

"Want a cup of tea?" – He asks and goes behind the counter.

"I'd love to" – She sits on the bar stool. – "But…before we start watching the movie, I have to tell you a few things about Blair" – He turns around.

"I told you already…" – He says, but she interrupts him.

"You need to know. It would be important for you when you'll remember her by yourself." – He puts the cup with the tea bag in front of her and pours hot water in it. – "Whatever you were thinking or you'll think…Blair _was_ in love with you." – He looks at her incredulously, unsure why this girl pushes the toppic so much. – "As a matter of fact, for someone so damaged, someone who only wanted to be happy their entire life, you made her truly happy. Not with expensive presents, not with luxurious trips…Simply happy. She was…She is an intellectual snob, someone who loves art and loves to discuss it with someone equally smart as herself, so whenever the two of you would have gone to watch a movie or visit a museum….I think it was the time of her life. I know that she was happy. Way longer than you and her ended up together." – She takes a sip from the tea and he is soaking each word she says.

"And?" – He asks.

"And…" – Blair shivers. She doesn't know if he is tricking her or he really doesn't remember her. – "Do you remember Chuck?" – She asks.

"Bass?" – Dan asks and Blair is mortified.

"Yes."

"I can't connect the name to a face…"

"Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck" – She continues. – "That's how they wanted to be called. It is one of the greatest delusions she had about love and a relationship. They were so done, but still, her heart was afraid of simplicity." – Dan is not moving his eyes away from hers. "When she went after him…when she find out about you and…Serena."

"What about me and Serena?" – Dan asks.

"You cheated on Blair with Serena."

"Why would I do that to her?" – Blair sighs.

"Serena never accepted the fact that you, as she wants to call you, the love of her life, could have fall so hopelessly in love with her best friend. And Blair was aware of that, Dan. She knew that you developed feelings for her, probably much longer before you were even able to admit it to yourself."

"So why didn't she say anything?" – Blair blinks and takes a deep breath.

"Plausible deniability" – She looks at him but the phrase don't cause any reaction. – "She was running away from …No, she was closing her eyes in front of the obvious in hope it'll go away…and because of Serena, but it didn't. She realized…" – She bites her lips. – "Why don't we watch Breakfast at Tiffany's? I said enough" – She smiles.

"No, no. Please." – He takes her hand before she stands up from the chair.

"Dan…"

"I want to hear it. I really can't put the things together and this is helpful"

"Blair was…wasn't aware that she was in love with you. She was taking you for granted, till moment you got hit by the van. And…" – She has a hard time to look at him. – "Dan, I'm…" – The moment before she says her name, the door opens and Serena and Jenny are walking in:

"Blair?!" – Serena almost shouts. Dan stares at Serena and Jenny and then he transfers his eyes on Blair. She is staring into her hands that are wrapped around the cup of tea. – "What…?" - Serena is surprised and Jenny is observing her sharply.

"Blair?!" – Dan asks with unsure tone. There is no going back. Blair gets her phone and slides through until she finds a picture of her and Dan, hugging and smiling. She turns it to him and he takes the phone to see the picture.

"I'm Blair Waldorf. Cornelia…is my middle name and Carlyle is Clair's last name. Your Clair from Inside…which was based on me" – Blair swallows to wet her throat. Dan is looking at the picture for a while and Jenny grabs Serena's hand and closes the door from the other side. Blair can hear her mumbling something like "leave them alone".

"You…you're Blair?" –He asks, still confused. Blair nods.

"Why…why did you lie to me?" – He asks.

"Because…"

"I can't believe it. I still don't remember anything…"

"When you opened the eyes in the hospital…I was there and you couldn't remember…what was I supposed to say? Hey I am the one who said that you can die and it wouldn't bother me." - He puts the phone down.

"You can die tonight…I don't care" – He quotes her correctly. – "I remember that. Those words are ringing in my head for so long, I was almost positive it's something I've seen in a movie or read in a book. Why Corne…Blair?" – He corrects himself.

"I already told you" – She doesn't try to stop her tears. – "I run away from you and I wanted to reunite with Chuck because it was easier…a comfort zone. I wasn't aware…"

"Why did you want me to die?"

"You humiliated me. You literally hurt me like the rest of them…"- She cries. – "It was just a matter of time when you and I would run back to Chuck and Serena. Because of a habit"

"I can hardly remember who you are and yet again I started falling for you. If that's not your clue, I don't know what it is. What sort of a habit are you talking about? But now with this confession…"

"It's not just this…" – Blair calms down. – "Jenny…"

"You made her trick me too?" – He asks and Blair doesn't say anything. – "Can I at least know why?"- It fascinates her how he stays calm the whole time and not once he raises his tone.

"I…" – She sniffs. – "I wanted you to remember me, without being forced…and then Serena trashed the hell out of me…I thought if you were spending time with me…you'd remember but…"

"But instead I developed…no, I kept feeling things for you even though your name wasn't the same"

"Dan, I…"

"I need to be alone, please" – He says.

"I would have told you earlier…"

"Cornelia, Blair…or whoever you are…You don't play with people's feelings. You just don't." – He leaves her in the living room alone and closes himself in his room.

….

It's been three weeks since Blair tells him the truth and nothing is changed. He doesn't even try to remember. He doesn't read, he doesn't watch the movies she brought and he barely leaves his room. Jenny tries to apologize but he is not interested to listen to her. She tells him the entire story why she left New York City, trying to explain why the sort of teaming with Blair was only to help him. Dan says he doesn't care about anything.

Blair is so depressed and sad and she knows that he will never forgive her even if he remembers her. She stays at home most of the time, trying to work but she is so absent, Dorota is worried she might be going insane.

…

When Chuck visits her, she doesn't even bother to look at him or even change her pajamas into something more presentable.

"Come on. I'll take you out" – He says.

"I'm fine at home, thank you"

"Blair, you can't let yourself going down because Humphrey's brain has holes."

"This is because of me. Humphrey is just another piece of the puzzle."

"You need good shopping or a party and you'll be good as new." – He kneels before her. She finally looks at him.

"You know how I always say that you know me the best…" – Chuck smiles, thinking that he convinced her. – "If you think that a party will cheer me up or a shopping might fix me…than I would rather kill myself now. Just let me grow up, Chuck!"

He stands up and before he leaves the elevator dings. Dan walks in.

"Chuck?" – He says surprised. He knows him. After all there is no amnesia that can erase Chuck Bass from people's memory.

"Humphrey" – Chuck says. – "I see you remember me"

When Blair hears his voice, she jumps out of the sofa. Her hair is terrible, picked in a messy pony tail and her silky pajamas are so crumpled that in other circumstances she'd burn them or throw them away. She walks in the foyer where Dan and Chuck are standing opposite each other.

"Dan?" – She says with thrembling voice. – He and Chuck are talking something quietly and when she walks to them Dan stops. The whole picture of this girl walking down the foyer, Chuck standing next to her, the black and white tiles, her doe eyes and the slightly curve shaped lips on the edges…

"Well I assume Humphrey will cheer you up" – Chuck adds in mocking tone. The words that are coming out of his and Blair's mouth sound like they come from somewhere far. He can't explain the pictures that are moving fast in his head. Parties, dresses, pink, red and black…a wedding dress, headbands, Audrey Hepburn, museums, stairs…

He just stands there, watches them talking with all of the flashbacks in his head and suddenly he sees a girl running across the street, him trying to make her stop, cars, sirens and then he even sees the van breaking with scary sound right in front of him.

"I remember…" – He says quietly and with half smile, but Chuck and Blair are in the middle of an argument. He starts smiling. – "I remember. I remember. I remember you Blair" – He interrupts them and Blair mouth hangs open and she forgets what exactly she was saying to Chuck.

"What?"

"I remember you. And this place. And the tiles. I dreamt of this floor many times. And you two together…"

"There is no such thing anymore, Humphrey…" – Chuck mumbles and leaves the foyer.

"Are you sure?" – Blair walks to him as if she might see his memory in his eyes.

"I am. Blair Waldorf. How was it possible not to remember you…oh my God, Blair"- He laughs and they hug tightly.

"You remember…" – She smiles into his neck, and that's when he breaks the embrace.

"I came here to argue with you because you lied to me and…because I missed you" – He admits. – "And to tell you that I'm going to Hudson to spend some time with Jenny and my mother."

Before she can object he continues – "I can't get over that, Blair…I need time. You need time. You need time to embrace yourself…" He talks and he talks, and she knows he does remember her because of the way he looks at her, but she hardly listens. He kisses her cheek and leaves.

….

The following months she does her best not to call him or to go to Hudson. She spends many hours with her therapist and decides to go back to school. After her exams she realizes she can't take it anymore. After all, NYU without Dan is equally killing her. Her driver takes her to Hudson and thanks to Jenny she finds the house easily. He opens the door.

"Humphrey, I never tolerated you and I don't see a reason now why would I do that."- She pushes him aside and walks into the house confidently.

"Please, come in" – He says and tries to hide his smile.

"You could have at least text me, you know. Or e-mail me. This is stupid. I mean, I'm going crazy, I even started studying and passed few exams and you are playing house here. You…" – She sees his packed bags.

"Where are you going?"- She switches the course of her monolog.

"Home"- He smiles.

"Home, as in Brooklyn?"

"Yes" - He says.

"Does that mean I can visit you more often?" – She asks, her face is still strict and her eyebrows are narrowed.

"Like you ever needed confirmation" – He smiles.

"Don't act stupid Humphrey. I went too far, and I…well my therapist said it was fine, I bought…" – She takes an envelope from her handbag and gives it to him.

"Plane tickets." – He says. – "Rome" – His tone is kind of surprised.

"Well I could have bought for Paris, but…" – She is still sharp.

"No, no. Rome is great"- He smiles to her.

"Good then. Will you join me?"

"You bought one for me, didn't you, otherwise there is no reason to show me this. Or even come to Hudson."

"Don't be a smartass Humphrey" – He chuckles and she finally smiles to him.

"I liked Cornelia more, she was always nice and was calling me by my first name." – He teases her.

"I might hit you with my bag so your memory can go away again" – She giggles.

"Let's go home Waldorf"

….

"After Christmas they are roaming Rome, holding hands, eating gelato and kissing in front of Di Trevi.

"You should cut it already, Humphrey"- She runs her fingers through his locks.

"If you have said this to me from the beginning, you'd have spared yourself from the whole stressful acting" – He kisses away the chocolate sprinkle off her mouth.

The following morning he wakes her up and she screams in horror when she sees his almost bald head.

"What have you done?" – She cries. – "You look like a prisoner"

"There is no way in pleasing you Waldorf" – He sneaks underneath the blanket and starts nibbling her neck.

"Yes there is" – She chuckles and hugs him tightly.

In the evening, they are walking by the Colosseum, wearing winter hats. He does look like a prisoner with his black beanie, and she is wearing red knitted hat. Her curls aren't touching her waist anymore. They are quite shorter, almost to her chin. While he was resting after they made love, she went to the hotel hair dresser and cut her hair too. She needed a change and now they are both looking anything but themselves. Whatever she looks like, she simply doesn't care. And Dan's hair will grow faster than she hopes.

Dan kisses her hand and that's all she needs. No one else.

What's more important, they have no idea when they are going back.

The end


End file.
